Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Crazy Girlfriend


I think it is best to say that I can easily compare my 10 month old girl to some of the girls I dated in College. I mean that by saying I have had my experiences with some crazy women in my past. I have dated that girl that would just start crying for no reason, had a lot of emotional baggage, and I was constantly trying to comfort them. Then, when I would get tired of doing that, I would break up with them. My little girl, however, I cannot break up with. Yep, that is little bit. She does the same things that my ex-girlfriends used to do, but I have to keep her around. She will be playing in the living room, having fun, laughing, then all of a sudden, start crying for no reason at all.


She is also very abusive to her daddy. We are talking about pulling hair, grabbing my bottom lip, pulling my leg hair. But I have to take this abuse in stride and not break up with her. To have a child, you need to remove all source of reason and then you will get it. Why is she crying? No reason, she is just tired. Why is she embarrassing me in public, no reason, she just can. So now I am living with one of THOSE girls in my own house. Luckily, my wife is not one of those.
I like watching movies, in peace. Nope, not anymore. I have worn out the pause button on my remote so bad I have to call the cable company to request a new remote. Lil Bit just crawls into MY room and starts slobbering and destroying my personal stuff like it is hers. Just like that crazy girlfriend. My phone, the dog, the remote, the piece of the Berlin Wall that I have in my possession, all fair game for her.
With all of that in mind, she is too cute to give to another couple. I have thought of having some sort of bartering on Craig's List offering up my daughter for a pair of white-wall tires, or some cool power tool, but I have not yet. I guess it is that fatherly love that people have been telling me about. I watched The Last House On The Left last night. There was a rape scene in the movie involving a man's daughter. While I was watching it, I started to feel my heart beat faster, the testosterone level raise, and the anger fill my head. Now I know what fatherly love is. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for that little girl. I would fight off 15 full grown men with my bare hands for her. Maybe that is why she is not on Craig's List right now.

No comments:

Post a Comment