Sunday, January 3, 2010

What I have learned from a one year old.

As of my last post, I think it is known what I think of last year. Now is a new year. However, I was thinking of what I had been through in the past year. Organizing a tea party and speaking in front of thousands of people (a first for me), getting canned from my job that I really did not like (a first for me), raising a child for a whole year (again, a first for me), and going through a very deep depression that I am glad I have mostly shaken off now (a second for me, I really think I attribute the deep depression to the job that I was terminated from).
I have learned a lot in the past year. I think the most important thing I learned is what I had already known but forgot. It was 14 years ago when I had to get out of a hole and press on with life. Say goodbye to a bad year, and look at the new year with promise and hope. That is 2010. Lil Bit has just been growing into becoming a little girl from being a little baby. She walks around now like a drunk because she is just learning how to really get her legs underneath her. She falls all the time, but she gets back up with more determination and does what she was going to do. She doesn't want help, she is focused and determined. When she fell ill with the swine flu (the first week I was unemployed), she took her cuts, then got back up and had that zest for life that we as adults can lose.
I had a choice now that I am without a job, get a job working for somebody that sees only dollar signs and I can just be one of those people that person take for granted, or I can do what I have always wanted but was too scared to do. Go into a small business. This small business I have already worked for in college, and the owner wants me to pick up more of the business as he gets older. Last year I declined because I was afraid of the recession. He raked in more profits than any other year last year, while I was at my steady job, getting my steady paycheck, and hating myself for it. I was going to quit the job I had been fired from this year to work for this guy in about April, but who knows if I would have the bravery to actually do it. Now I have no choice, and it feels good. I only do my best work in life when I have my back against the wall. And this is who I am, who I have always been, a small business owner.
I have no idea whether I will succeed, but I will fail if I don't try. This year is when I start to fight back and I am excited about it.

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