Learning To Listen

2009 has been a rough year for me. I am going to whine for a bit and throw myself a pity party. At the beginning of the year I got involved in politics. That was stressful. Then I had the hardest part of getting used to being a daddy. I have settled in quite nicely now. I have suffered from deep depression, I have looked for help. But I talked to my Papa about 2 weeks ago and he and I talked about God for a couple of hours. The one thing I got out of that talk was.... listen to the Lord more and stop talking for a second.
So I started to listen, intently. That is when I got TERMINATED from my job that I had work in for 6 1/2 years. Then my wife has had some health problems that have worried me. Now, today, I found out lil bit has the swine flu. I LISTENED AND ALL HE GAVE ME WAS THIS! That was my first thought. Then I got angry at him. Then I listened again.
I am the type of person that can be hit by life over and over again and I won't fight back. Only when I get that knock out shot that lands me on the mat do I fight. So I have recently found myself on the mat. After a couple of days of trying to regain my consciousness, because I was dazed by that shot I took in the face, I looked over to see the crowd cheering 'life' for the knock out win and 'life' raising his gloves in victory. That is when I turn over, I slowly get on all fours, and try to stand again. This take a bit because I hurt, my face and ribs and everything. But I am going to stand, and that is when life better watch out. You can kick this dog but when you corner me, I bite.
So my point is, did the Lord facilitate in the firing of me by my job? Don't know. But I will tell you that the fact that I was fired from a job that I had begun to loath, and was depressing me, and sucking the life out of me, I was too chicken to quit. Maybe he took out his boot and kicked me out of a situation I didn't need to be in. Will I find a good job? Will lil bit be OK? Will my wife stop getting stress-related symptoms? Not sure. But I am getting up from the mat and I am ready to fight now. But I am not alone, I am still listening to you Lord, and I know that where ever I go, it will probably be a lot better than where I have been. This is when I dig my heels in, stop retreating, and begin to fight. Thank you God for at least one thing, giving me Papa.