One Year Gone

I am coming up on the 1 year anniversary of the greatest event in my life. I am sitting back thinking right now trying to put it all in my mind. I think of life in a series of events, good or bad, and how they affect the way I carry on with my life. For instance, the worst year of my life (1995) made me realize how I need to carry on with baggage in life, I learned that year that you need to carry some of that baggage, but leave the rest behind. In the last year since my wife had my wonderful daughter I have learned a lot. Can't really explain everything, because you just kinda have to go through it yourself. But here are the things that can be put into words.
I have learned that there are things in this life that I cannot control. This is very hard for a person who is used to controlling EVERYTHING around himself, and yet something about 1'9" tall and less than 9 pounds can put all of that to an end. I have had ex-cons threaten me and men twice my age and size, but they were never able to change what something this little has changed in me. That has increased the role the Lord has had in my life. Control freaks like me have a problem 'giving it all up to the Lord'. But I have had no choice. And I have found a whole other side of the Lord that I have never seen. I have seen more love and support from him that has helped me when I have been at the end of my rope.
I have also learned how to be a bad husband, then try and be a better one after I realize that I have not been the best husband I could be. I have learned that giving up most of my free time in the evenings to have to spend it with my family is ACTUALLY more fun than what I have had to give up. I have also learned that having a sick child is not the end of the world and, even though I get sneezed, coughed, and even spit-up upon, daddies usually don't get sick.
I have learned that the smile of a little girl just happy that I am home makes me feel like the most important person in the world! And I have also realized that a little girl's giggle and uncontrollable laughter is very contagious.
Fatherhood is something that you do the best you can with relatively no instruction manual. You can talk to other daddies, but you pretty much have to wing it, and as long as you are playing IN the game, you are already winning. I have not been more excited for a birthday since I was probably 11 years old. I don't even realize yet that I turn 29 years old 3 days later. I have gone from telling people what I would like for my birthday to begging my wife to buy a cool toy for lil bit. I have found that my 2 best friends are the 2 girls that I live with. I love living with my best friends. I feel blessed that I get to enjoy being around them for as long as the Lord allows.
And finally, when the Doctor said we would be able to conceive without the use of fertility drugs, and we had lil bit without those drugs, I truly believe that lil bit was sent down to use from Heaven by the grace of God. She was just a little angel laying around the clouds and one day God asked her, 'Hey, I have a good family that really wants one of you, and I think you would be a good fit. You wanna go?' I took her a few days to make up her mind (she is a female), but she finally decided to go for it, like her mommy and daddy. So thanks lil bit for giving us a chance and with this first year being so fun, I can't wait for the rest of the years.